back to reality, oops there goes gravity...

so i promised i'll write about ymlc. to be honest i went with an expectant heart, i really just wanted to encounter God. i think if you ask me about retreats, i can think of a million thing as my expectations. but i think one thing i learnt from the cs retreat was that He'll encounter me the way He wants to. sure i admit i was really alright with getting slain, hey that's quite an experience of firepower alright! and even more towards what i call firepowerish stuff. i didn't mind getting an emotional high, taking on such a ride as long as God takes me on it (here's coming from the more likely skeptic than enthu az). i had 2 things in the back of my mind at the beginning, they were perhaps the 2 things i desired to know, but above all i desired most to encounter Him. i shared the first with my mentor group, it's about purpose and ambition, and to be honest i truly believe He's guiding me in that even right now. as for the 2nd one, wow wow that got answered, definitely a highlight of ymlc.

i realised that God seems to speak to me not at the usual things. like when everybody got prayed for the anointing of the Spirit, when the pastors and mentors would come up to you and just pray for you. well... more people had their ymlc 'breakthroughs' and highlights then. and that was only 'okay, alright' to me. i definitely felt the Spirit's presence, heart beat faster, but that was about it.

there are some things when i, a natural cynic and skeptic just have to believe that this is something more than psychological. that these experiences transcends into something Spiritual. and i, am just in awe of God. that's why they say faith needs to be exercise. God usually gives you enough room to doubt... or to believe. He, being the gentleman that He is values (i cannot emphasise this enough) our free will. He allows US to make the choice, to choose Him, or not.

looking back, although i felt my group was a bit quiet. and that my stomach really wasn't feeling too well on the first 2 days. it was a great 3 days spent away, enriching, fulfilling. i crashed another mentor group for dinner, and i met someone in the same zone as me! new asgl for 'the ark'. and coincidentally my unit mate (2 rooms in a room) was also in that group.

back to the real world now though. i pray that all that new-found knowledge and increased conviction won't leave. instead to be convinced each day of your unlimited power in this life, and in the lives around me.

found love beyond all reason
You gave Your life Your all for me
and called me Yours forever

caught in the mercy fallout
i found hope found life
found all i need you're all i need

the time has come
to stand for what we believe in
so i for one am gonna
give my praise to You

today, today it's all or nothing
all the way the praise goes out to You... - the time has come (this song has really been replaying in my head)

but i probably shouldn't end with a hillsong song. should be proud of the wonderful songs entered to the songwriting competition.

by Your unlimited power
unlimited grace
unlimited hope for us in this place
with the unlimited truth
Your promise remains
unlimited love that we can't contain
by Your unlimited power - theme song for ymlc

the song that came in 2nd place really touched me even before the conference. and the songwriter's from wesley! hoorah! what struck was his verse of 'the world cannot touch me when i'm down on my knees', and 'running with the victory'. diametrically opposite in imagery, but how true, how true! prayer is the strongest sword we have, yet so often overlooked. we talk about fighting it's with guns and brute force, who thinks of going down on your knees? in fact the latter would even seem weak or resigned, but no that's where all strength comes from.

(nearly lost this post, yes this long long post, but it's still here, saved as drafts. and that usually doesn't really happen with blogger when my window just closes)

Labels: faith, ymlc