back!

i'll probably be posting here more often. reason being, i think less and less people view this blog of mine, which weighing the odds, is actually a good thing. reason being i don't have to feel accountable to the people i know reading (yes, i actually do feel responsible in that aspect, silly isn't it?). this is a public blog, so i still know that some people will still trikle in and read what i have to say here, so i'm not worried about viewership in any way.

anyway, even if no one reads my rants and thoughts, i could be my own audience (no it isn't pathetic).

i think i've grown, wiser or not (i don't know), but i feel that i am becoming more mature, and essentially i'm seeing things from points of views i've never taken before.

i mentioned that i've had a lot of things in my head lately, some even attacking the fundamentals of my faith i truly and fervently believe in. somehow it has just taken a knocking recently, but it definitely won't take a tumbling though. i think i'm a person with a lot of internal conflict, sometimes it's so hard to fight against certain things, i'll have to dig deep, even deeper, deeper, and no there is no bottom, because the source of my strength is so great one cannot even fathom the depth of this strength.

because my strength comes from faith.

i know i sound like an oxymoron, how strong could my faith be since it can even take a knocking. but hear me out i say, i don't want anyone to think anything negative about my faith. i'll use an analogy, there is this strong fortress, it is strong, very very strong, yet it can take a knocking because of enemy attack, but does this mean it is any less strong because it can withstand enemy attack? yes it did take a knocking, because the enemy attacked it! however can i say it is less strong? in fact i say it is strong because it is able to withstand strong and potent enemy weaponry and arsenals.

i went to fop yesterday night with kareen and regina, it was fantastic. hillsongs especially, live, praise, praise and sheer worship! delirious too, and something happened that still leaves me speechless and wondering.

val, if you do read this i'm sorry i couldn't go with you today. sorry for not keeping in contact most of the time.

somehow i never fail to be a very unproactive friend (if there is such a word). i should really be less apathetic about virtually everything.

tomorrow's national day, singapore's 40. happy birthday to this place i call home. we're actually very fortunate to be in singapore, despite all that people say about our government, no one can negate that we have high living standards, quite prosperous. it hit me, perhaps because i belong to the generation that thinks 'the grass is greener on the other side' that instead of complaining all the time about what we do not have, i should look at what we do have, and be thankful for it.

me and grace will be celebrating national day alright! we are going to partake in what our singaporean students are best at, mugging! maybe not so much for me cos i've only got 1 textbook which i can refer to, so i'm more of a dummy just watching my dear friend mug for the big As.

i'll end off with a song that hillsongs sang yest,

everyday it's You i live for
everyday i'll follow after You
everyday i'll walk with You my Lord
...
it's You i live for everyday
it's You i live for everyday
it's You i live for everyday -everyday, hillsongs