wanted to start with, 'haven't been updating recently...' but decided against it. reason is, that would sound as if i have some responsibility to my probable audience out there. note the word 'probable' because i don't even know whether there is an actual audience in the first place. my guess is yes, and this would lead me to the second point of 'how big?'. which leads me to a third point of 'what's the reason in asking', which i will answer.

and to me it is also a revelation of what blogging means to me.

yes i feel that i have a responsibility to the people that read this blog, whether i know you or not. somehow i feel that people might be reading this blog of mine on a regular basis, and my presence would be in a sense missed. this is especially true for the people whom i hardly meet nowadays, and read my blog to know that i'm still existent in this world. however another part of me feels, 'why should i be responsible to this unknown maybe unexistant audience?', and is truly scared of having to be committed to anything. arh, that's me! it's a funny thing really. i feel that i have to be responsible yet do not really like undertaking the responsibilities of being responsible? sounds confusing? try reading it again... it makes sense, really.

about driving... vrooooooom vrooooooooooooooom!

it's been fun really. except that on my third lesson i still stalled my car once (on the public roads!), stepped on the accelerater too hard many times, braked slightly too late. don't worry though, i can assure you, despite my flaws, i'm not a road threat! i make sure i drive off fast after the traffic light turns green, so that the poor car at the back of me won't have to wait for this 'L' plate driver to 'accelerate first' then 'slowly release clutch' before the car starts rolling baby! i'm good, i'm good, i'll be a darn good driver someday. one thing though, i hate changing gears, i simply abhor manual cars! thank goodness for auto cars! and who came up with the speed limit of 50clicks per hour? it's ghostly slow! 60 feels normal, unless you're driving on those small roads.

i'm dying to place tennis. to serve out hard, to vent all my frustration on the tennis ball... i'm filled with angst, yes i am.

results coming out soon, i daren't think about my grades, especially logically.