'am i a perfectionist?'

'no, you're an idealist.'

'do you think i try too hard?'

'no, you aim too high.'

i should really try much harder for the things i desire, because i know i would be unhappy with anything less than my goals.

'do you think you should lower your expectations then?'

'no, cos i know i won't be happy.'

is happiness so hard to achieve?

funny how you might actually know the answer, but doing it, that's so tough.

+

something about me became apparent last night. as much as i hate to be following the 'rules' of society in social etiquette, i realised it's quite a part of me. my jc friends i invited to my small gathering were supposed to stay for countdown, but when they came 2 of them told me they had to leave early, like around 9 for their class gathering. i mean, i'm not a selfish person, but it is seriously, in my opinion, basic courtesy to notify me earlier or choose to go for either and not selfishly have the best of both worlds. obviously i was pissed, not sad like what 1 of them thought, just purely pissed, and somehow i couldn't be stoic, urghhhhh, first party, and i got pang-sehed by my close jc friends, which led me to think, maybe i should have invited another group of jc friends, also close to heart in the first place. yes, the tennis peeps, just that i thought i wanted to keep the number small... anyway it's over, geez.

however, my small party wasn't a total flop, in fact, i wouldn't consider it even close to a flop, thanks to my other friends -grace, tan, pam, eve! you rock, you people really do rock!

simple in virtue, steadfast in duty, always and forevermore.

anyway from this event, i realised that there's a hell lot of politics involved in organising even a small getogether. oh well...