i don't know why, but i suddenly feel very sorry for myself.
was just reading a lit student's blog, and somehow the way he viewed things, made me ponder. so i took lit from sec 1 to 4, didn't love it but didn't dislike it that much either. i can say i've got a wee bit of a flair for lit, in the sense that i usually score quite decently for my unseen questions in the past. these 2 years devoid of lit, have made me more of a realist, and afraid of failure. to me, lit is such a wonderful subject because it allows you to live in your own world, it allows you to feel your emotions, to relive them, to feel for other people's emotions. that's the beauty of poetry or even prose, and that's the sheer beauty of lit, although it may be initially boring when picking up the 'technical' skills required to understand a poem, so as to in my words 'write crap' when answering unseen questions, lit actually makes you an enlightened person.
and i'm not taking lit. it's not because i feel that i'll be able to do well in it, because of the a1 i got in the O levels, but because i realised i actually enjoyed lit after the Os. most importantly, i have an affection for it, and i'm truly sorry for not continuing my relationship with it (sounds funny huh). some people say it's not realistic to take arts, i agree, because the arts deals with intangible things like feelings and emotions, whereas science deals with tangible, hard facts. and that is why we should appreciate the arts, in order to be unrealistic at times, to aptly quote professor john keating from the movie dead poet's society:
'show me a heart unfettered by foolish dreams and i'll show you a happy man'
his reply:
'but only in dreams can men be truly free, twas always thus and always thus will be'
we need to have dreams, because reality is far too harsh for us to bear. i'm not saying we should live solely in them, but we must, at times break away from this cold, forbidding world and live in our own small world - a world where we are truly free.
lit rocks because it allows you to dare to dream, for timid people like me. it allows you to believe in your dreams, which i'm trying so hard to do now.
chem bio math
i sincerely hope i will get As and Bs for my subs, there is so little time left and i'm just so scared i'll end up with grades like BCC.
somehow a part of me is saying i'll do fine in the end, but that has led me to procrastinate so much. i was lucky for Os, obviously unlucky for 2 subs, but the net gain was positive. would i ever be that lucky again? i'm not afraid of failure this time, i won't mind getting BCC, but i do not want to because it would totally shatter my dream.
no use thinking so much...
back to mugging.
