it's not easy to be... me

i've got a lot of things on my mind lately... lots of issues to battle, lots of questions still unanswered...

everyone has their own battle to fight.

my train of thoughts just got interrupted by a passing lizard... distraction.

anyway i feel that i'm so weak emotionally, health-wise and i lack determination. i give up too bloody easily, one failure hits me so bad i crash.

+

today was fine, caught the terminal at ps with ppf, funny, refreshing movie. we met up with yh later on, so full attendance for once - appfy.

+

i feel that when i speak sometimes, people just don't hear me, it vexes me because some people expect to be heard all the time, maybe they're just ignorant of people trying to say something... maybe it's just cos people think i'm not important enough to be heard...

weirdly the people i'm directing this probably won't read this blog...

+

sometimes i feel that i should stop caring about what i care about, stop trying to put up a front, stop trying to be someone that i ain't.

then again, i don't even know what i really am...

all i know is i like to have time to myself, yet i yearn for people to be next to me. sometimes, i'll just walk around on my own, in school mostly. is it cos i relish feeling detached, an independent self that i don't think i am? i don't know...............