eight

by the looks of it, i will be taking chinese ao until the end of the year, or maybe i will have to drop to something known as syllabus b. i'm just a linguistic retard or so to speak, my english is so-so, and my standard of chinese is (insert word here if you know me).

i'm not going to think about my paper today, i know what the outcome will be, as much as i don't wish to accept the fact that i'll probably get a lucky grade of 8 again. i'm not being pessismistic, i know my grade for chinese is one of a c of d, and by writing out of point, i killed the grade i'm supposed to have gotten. -sigh- it's like another screw up, except this time i didn't realise it until after the exam. deja vu of my a math and english o level papers again... i hate screwing up.

so i accept my 8, with gritted teeth and a heavy heart, what else can i do? whine about it?

another thing to note. i was thinking, you know people say 'it's meant to be' all the time, if the outcome of everything were to be already fixed, won't this life that we're living be just like a play, with fixed lines, fixed fleeting moments of euphoria and sadness...

i wish we were in control of our destinies, but sometimes it really seems that things are predefined for you.