FOC (pun intended)

bah, got crap grades, crap life, i sound like some peevish 14 year old that says nothing but 'life sucks'. i don't live by that motto, in fact i think it's overused. it's like something doesn't go your way and you exclaim 'life sucks'. but, crap, think about it, there much be millions out there fighting to be in your place. think about the underdeveloped countries, refugees, the list goes on and on and on. this isn't some humanatarian entry but i'm just trying to tell people to just quit whining sometimes, gets rather nervy. don't say 'life sucks' all the time, save it for a rainy day, when it is really appropriate to. for me, my life's still going on fine, i've been met with countless obstacles in the past 1 year plus, first it was the posting, that made me pretty upset for most of the year last year, i sound terribly indifferent but it's hard to continue being against something - you get tired after a while. i suppose this is where torture works, you get so tired you just give in; surrender.

gee, i suppose it won't hurt to let out this fear of mine, the fear of losing, i bet no one likes to lose but i think this really affects me more. it's like i've been doing pretty alright for my studies throughout secondary school, even in sec 2 though i didn't get into the class of my choice i was in a pretty average class, not bad for someone who didn't even study the night before. that's my huge regret - not even studying for a major exam the night before. but that's all in the past, i've gotten pretty decent grades so far... until i reached jc. just scrapped through my promos last year with horrendous grades, i suppose it was what i deserved considering how slack i was last year, yea, day before, last minute studying again. now what... i admit i studied for my block tests, i mean, it wasn't a whole one week preparation but i did spend a 2 or 3 days and what kind of results do i get? i know i'm not some genius but i'm not stupid either. it's like, i couldn't even pass my bio, leave out math for now (didn't even know 2 hoots about what was going on) and just got a crummy c for chem. just darn scared i'll be one of those that mug darn hard and still fail, that sucks man, i don't want to become like that. at least let me reap what i sow... sheesh.