1-0
2-0
2-1
2-2
3-2
4-2
4-3
4-4
5-4
6-4
6-5
6-6
7-6
7-7
8-7
8-8 -> tie break

1-0
2-0
3-1
4-1
4-2
5-2
5-3
5-4
5-5
5-6
5-7 -> cj wins

the point in writing the above was that the match was (if i might use the f word) fcuking close, not extremely, not very very, but fcuking close. and it had to end with not only a tie break but a fcuking close one also. after seeing the last ball drop into the net (double fault) and the 2 cj girls embracing each other, i just felt crap, i nearly felt like throwing my racket onto the floor, but no, can't do that, that's POOR sportmanship, though at that exact moment if i did, i wasn't cos i was a sore loser, it's just that i was so angry at not winning, and that was an action to let out some steam in me.

it's hard conceding to such a narrow score, it's a loss nonetheless, a very very close loss. after the match, you couldn't imagine how poignant i felt, i was close to tears, i would have cried... i just didn't allow myself to do so, no way could i look so vulnerable.

i know i can't change anything but up till now i still think about the match, yes, 1 day after and i'm still affected by the outcome. overall score: 3-2 (down), can you imagine that the tables could have been so easily turned if we won our match? we played our best throughout, what had to break during the last few serves?

i felt i let myself down, my partner, the team, the school. 9-0, 9-8, it's still a loss, it's the result that matters...

*

the other person that must have felt crap was wendy. her knee got the better of her and she was forced to retire. wendy, it isn't your fault that your knee just decided to go on a holiday, take care of yourself alright?

then there's xuefeng, i know how it must feel to double fault on your last serve, i suppose at the last few shots you were really nervous. never mind, we're still a team, i guess the only thing we can do now is look forward and don't let the last game affect us.