i think todays post is going to be a long one

officially today's the last day of promos. would have been spending the next few days quite happily but nah... that would be impossible. why? diligent teachers have finished marking both chem and math papers. like -clap clap-, so much for being the last day of promos huh? enjoy it for a few hours and -waam- they drop you a bomb shell.

arh! i can hear people saying 'but it might be a blessing in disguise, that you'll find out you pass earlier and be able to truly enjoy yourself'. hoho... more like the reverse is true, except that the finding out earlier part still remains true. oh geez, this is like a repeat of last year except that i had more subjects - 8 to be exact whereas this year i only have a paltry 3. geez, i really regret not taking econs, i was darn close to have gotten it. fcuk. so yea, the scenario is totally different. last year i know i screwed up basically 2 of my most important subjects - english and a math. i knew it straight after the paper and wala, i got a 3. oh yes! a 3 is not that bad... but no, those were my best subjects, i should have gotten a 1, i know that, friends who know me, you know that too. and how's it same and yet different this year? well... i screwed up chem. i know the best i got for it is an 'ao' pass this year but that was 'cos i totally didn't study and this time i did, last minute nontheless but i still did. and when i looked at the questions, it wasn't that i didn't know how to them... i just blanked out. it was quite the same for gp, just a tad bit better... i know i won't do well, if i pass, i'll be glad.

so my point after all these long rubbish is that:

1) it doesn't matter how good you are at a subject. it is how you perform in the exam that counts. someone who might not be as good as you might outperform you due to exam circumstances. also, luck is vitally important... i've heard many people say that it isn't... but i tell you it is. especially for last minute muggers.

2) i am not going to do well. i consider well as passing my promos. yes... my expectations have dropped that significantly.

i know it sucks hearing people rant about the same thing day in day out, but darn i'm just hoping to release some fear out of me through writing.

if i do pass chem ('a' level pass), i'll definitely add a post to this blog.

so if you don't see a post on thursday. you should know the result...