somehow or other, i feel really subtle now. if you've been reading my previous few entries, one or two would mention the bitterness i felt to people who ended up in jcs that i always wanted to go with much higher l1r5s than me. it's no point thinking 'how it could have', yes, i was well aware of the fact long long ago. what i have is now, and that ending up in ny didn't happen by chance, somehow or other it was the will of someone greater.

that brings me to a point... how my faith has been wavering this past few years. i wish to say i'm a good catholic but i must say i'm not. whatever it is, i love God with all of my heart and all of my soul. i was just thinking of maybe going to other services by other dinomination churches. i seriously think the catholic church is really not proactive somehow. like hillsongs, sonic flood, they are christian bands. i'm not implying that it's cool to be christian, seriously i don't think that one should relate 'coolness' with religion. it's just there's this active and alive element lacking in catholic churches that somehow is present in say methodist or anglican churches. like, the people are 'more onz' about stuff. maybe it's just a stereotypical view of mine but yea...

i read something somewhere, and it really hit me, 'don't be afraid to move out of your comfort zone... if you don't try, you'll never know and for those that do, always be centered in God'.