was reading debbie's blog. it made a lot of sense to whoever she was directing her entry to. i guess it's no point wallowing in self pity. i guess i knew that right from the start but i just could not accept it somehow. when things go wrong people look for things or people to blame. everything, everyone but themselves. they start comparing, hey that person got that why didn't i? again we're awakened to the fact that life is unfair and we're coming out from our sheltered lives in secondary school to a jc, one which is closer to life of the working world... backstabbing, betraying, etc... it takes time for one, esp. me to calm down and think about maybe God has planned something better for me but i just can't accept it yet. what i see as the 'right' path or route for me may not be. everything happens for a reason and how we tackle it shows how mature we are. i guess i'll just have to look at it from the positive side... been very placid for one day and i guess it sorta straighten my thoughts out. i guess i'll go to my jc with an open heart and ask whether i can do what i want, if i can't, i guess it's just meant to be.

sounds pretty resigned to fate? maybe... guess it's a point when you get tired trying.